As I write this, tears are streaming down my face…

Don’t get me wrong… I’m not sad. I’m just inebriated and sleepy… and I really really REALLY need to hit the sheets…

<burp> (taste of beer in my mouth!)

It’s just that I know I am not feeling well (just got better from a flu), and I know that it’s raining. And I refused to bring my camera along with the thought: “What is there to shoot anyway?”

Well… I must have left my intelligence somewhere, thinking that nothing fun would come out from our planned reunion at a KTV bar here in Davao City. I voted for an Island Hopping Activity, and I am quite hesitant to attend.

I have to admit, it turned out great!

Albeit I got inebriated later than most of the attendees (okay, out of 160 graduates last 1996, only 20 came to sing their lungs out –> and I excused myself since I just got off from a flu, my nose is stuffed, and I had to pick up my mom from her club’s Christmas/New Year party, and drive about 8 kilometers to pick my brother up from a friend’s place. Oh, and it’s also raining… which means I can’t blame the rain anymore if it rains due to my singingl!!!), I was able to catch up! ;p

Easy getting drunk, easy getting sober. It worked well for me. :p I just hope there’ll be no rotten hangover later when I wake up…

<burp> (taste of beer in my mouth!)

I really had fun!

One thing I regret? Hmmm… not bringing my camera to capture the memories…

§

 Yehey!

 It’s here! It arrived today!

 This is my Birthday Gift/Christmas Gift to myself! Yey! Happy Birthday and Happy Christmas to me!

 I scanned through the book.  The paintings (by the author) are so fascinating.  And as Entertainment Weekly would put it: “A blend of ALICE IN WONDERLAND and THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE.”   Now, what could be more fascinating than that?  I both have ALICE… and THE LION… on my bookshelf.  This is really a great addition to my growing library here at home.

 I know I’m itching to read it in one sitting (ahehehe… I prefer lying down!!!), but I still can’t.  I still have an assignment to finish (hmmm… 27 more pages to read, and 3 essays to answer… Three LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG essays!!!)

 I did browse on the first few pages (oh, well, to be honest, first 9 chapters, including the prologue of course!), and I had to control myself from turning another page!  Based on the online tests that I take, I have an above average Emotional Quotient, unfortunately right now it does not show!

 I still have a vague picture on the what the story is all about.  I can’t wait to find it out…

 Heck, if I have time to write this (in-between my study periods), I’m sure I’ll be able to find time going to ABARAT!

Haha! *laughing sheepishly*

§

I am getting tension headaches more frequently.

Getting to bed early, getting up early, stretching 7 days a week, cardiovascular exercises 3 times a week, weight-training 4 times a week, keeping a maximum of 1200 calories in a day.

I’ve been doing this for two weeks now.  (Oh, except for the “getting to bed early” part, as well as the “getting up early” part.  I have my lapses.  Sometimes old habits die hard.  I even have an alarm on my cellphone to remind myself that I have to sleep early.)

My eye doctor told me that I need to lose weight.  Two months ago, I had the scare that I might have glaucoma since my eye pressure was at the borderline. Good thing that my peripheral vision exam was normal.  I don’t have glaucoma.  And hopefully not anytime soon. Or better yet, not get it at all.

 I’m doing Gudang occasionally.  The last box that I bought last September is still in my bag, with two left. While the one I bought last August lasted only for a month!

 I’m living a healthy life, more or less…

—–

What ticks me off is the fact that my obesity is not what’s driving me nuts right now.

It’s the choices that I have to make “for my future”

—–

Last June, I was accepted to work as a Nurse 1 in the University of the Philippines – Philippine General Hospital (UP-PGH). 

This is the hospital of my dreams!  It has been “IT” ever since I knew that I got accepted as a biologist 11 years ago.

But I have been waiting for the call since July, and because of the election ban last September and October,  the call was postponed further and further.  Up to know, there has been no call.  I don’t want to say that I’m getting impatient, but yes, I’m getting impatient.

Bottomline is, despite this impatience, I still would want to wait for that call.  My family used to be excited about the employment, but now, they are impatient, too, and says that a 3-year contract is too long. 

Dilemma #1:  Shall I wait for the call and take the job at PGH? 3 years is three years.  I don’t want to breach my contract.  What if retrogression is lifted, I’ll be interviewed and approved of an immigrant visa, and I have to go to USA before my contract ends?

—–

Last December 3, I attended an information seminar regarding getting nurses to go to Australia.  If I am to work there, I have to take a qualifying exam by the Queensland Nursing Council (QNC).  “Why not?“, I told myself.  I’ve been studying for the past 11 years, I could study for another exam and pray that I would pass.

But getting there entails a lot of money… about Php280,000.00.  I still don’t know where I’m going to get that money.  By working perhaps? (at PGH?!? LOL!!!)

Dilemma #2:  This is too enticing.  If I choose this option, I’ll be able to earn more than what I’ll be earning in PGH.  But I have to pay my earnings to the money I assume I’ll be owing just to get there. (Well, for the first one and a half years probably.)

—–

Just this afternoon, a friend of mine sent me a congratulatory message, saying that I passed both qualifying exams for a 6-months training as a Burn Nurse and a Critical Care Nurse at Davao Medical Center (DMC). 

 Dilemma #3:  If I take this training, I’ll be spending about Php6,000.00 training fee, and I won’t get paid for 6 months.  On a lighter note, I’ll be getting a certificate for training with a very good hospital.  And I don’t have to leave home… yet.

 —–

I am not liking this indecisiveness that I have right now… because I know it is always better to make a wrong decision than make no decision at all…

—–

Oh well.  I’ll just brood over it a little more…

§

I’ve been awake for a while now
you’ve got me feelin like a child now
cause every time i see your bubbly face
i get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under the covers stayin dry and warm
you give me feelins that i adore

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

What am i gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just……..mmmmmmmmmmm

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
Im comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go…

I learned something about you today.

She told me that because we’re friends, I should know that you’re not so amazing after all… since both of you knew each other longer than we do.

I’m not judgemental, I told her. And indeed, I found myself happy because I didn’t become judgemental.

I don’t even know the reason why I am drawn to you. Maybe because I see myself in you. That both of us have the potential to do the things that we really wanted to do, and because of that, we still don’t know what to choose… Both you and I are still at standstill… we still are very indecisive on what choice would make us happy.

Alam mo, I’m happy to have found a friend whom I can relate to. But I guess, I’m quite old to dilly dally. You, you still have your youthfullness to weigh your options and do more of the extracurricular activities that you love to do…

Hay, naku.

Big sister nga talaga ako sa iyo… I guess that’s all there is to what we have now.

Just remain true to yourself.

And I hope you read this and realize that I’m talking about you!!!