12.20.07
I just want what’s best for me…
I am getting tension headaches more frequently.
Getting to bed early, getting up early, stretching 7 days a week, cardiovascular exercises 3 times a week, weight-training 4 times a week, keeping a maximum of 1200 calories in a day.
I’ve been doing this for two weeks now. (Oh, except for the “getting to bed early” part, as well as the “getting up early” part. I have my lapses. Sometimes old habits die hard. I even have an alarm on my cellphone to remind myself that I have to sleep early.)
My eye doctor told me that I need to lose weight. Two months ago, I had the scare that I might have glaucoma since my eye pressure was at the borderline. Good thing that my peripheral vision exam was normal. I don’t have glaucoma. And hopefully not anytime soon. Or better yet, not get it at all.
I’m doing Gudang occasionally. The last box that I bought last September is still in my bag, with two left. While the one I bought last August lasted only for a month!
I’m living a healthy life, more or less…
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What ticks me off is the fact that my obesity is not what’s driving me nuts right now.
It’s the choices that I have to make “for my future”
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Last June, I was accepted to work as a Nurse 1 in the University of the Philippines – Philippine General Hospital (UP-PGH).
This is the hospital of my dreams! It has been “IT” ever since I knew that I got accepted as a biologist 11 years ago.
But I have been waiting for the call since July, and because of the election ban last September and October, the call was postponed further and further. Up to know, there has been no call. I don’t want to say that I’m getting impatient, but yes, I’m getting impatient.
Bottomline is, despite this impatience, I still would want to wait for that call. My family used to be excited about the employment, but now, they are impatient, too, and says that a 3-year contract is too long.
Dilemma #1: Shall I wait for the call and take the job at PGH? 3 years is three years. I don’t want to breach my contract. What if retrogression is lifted, I’ll be interviewed and approved of an immigrant visa, and I have to go to USA before my contract ends?
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Last December 3, I attended an information seminar regarding getting nurses to go to Australia. If I am to work there, I have to take a qualifying exam by the Queensland Nursing Council (QNC). “Why not?“, I told myself. I’ve been studying for the past 11 years, I could study for another exam and pray that I would pass.
But getting there entails a lot of money… about Php280,000.00. I still don’t know where I’m going to get that money. By working perhaps? (at PGH?!? LOL!!!)
Dilemma #2: This is too enticing. If I choose this option, I’ll be able to earn more than what I’ll be earning in PGH. But I have to pay my earnings to the money I assume I’ll be owing just to get there. (Well, for the first one and a half years probably.)
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Just this afternoon, a friend of mine sent me a congratulatory message, saying that I passed both qualifying exams for a 6-months training as a Burn Nurse and a Critical Care Nurse at Davao Medical Center (DMC).
Dilemma #3: If I take this training, I’ll be spending about Php6,000.00 training fee, and I won’t get paid for 6 months. On a lighter note, I’ll be getting a certificate for training with a very good hospital. And I don’t have to leave home… yet.
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I am not liking this indecisiveness that I have right now… because I know it is always better to make a wrong decision than make no decision at all…
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Oh well. I’ll just brood over it a little more…
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ken sinabi,
Disyembre 20, 2007 Sa 2:43 umaga
te! “you are the choices that you make.” just keep that in mind.. and remember, if yu keep on asking for too many opinions, you get stressed more. and that’s what we don’t want. ok? i believe you’re not getting any younger, and you’re old enough to make your own decisions. this is YOUR life–not your life because of them.
eyna sinabi,
Disyembre 24, 2007 Sa 11:55 hapon
hi aissa!
Merry Christmas! I wish that you will find the “light” you’ve been looking for to make that choice
Decision making is never my ++ … I’m a firm believer though that despite all the options we seem to have, we know from deep within what we truly wanted and where our destiny is. We only need to find the time and a silent place to know what our heart wants and listen closely to what it says. It only becomes difficult when we want or consider the approval of others (relatives, family or friends). Good luck and God Bless!
Mariciele sinabi,
Disyembre 27, 2007 Sa 9:39 hapon
Hello Sis,
I understand what you are going through but your brother is right. You are old enough to make your own decisions. You’re smart, optimist, pretty, strong and most of all, kind-hearted. I guess whatever choice you make, you will do just fine. Honestly, I envy you nga eh cuz you have a lot of options. And I know that if you want to do something, you’ll do it no matter what others will say and no matter how impossible others think it may seem.
I’m just here beside you, always remember that!